Blog Post from Hanna Reisdorff August 5, 2012

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Who Do I Think I Am?

I've been in Thailand for two months now, and I've blogged a total of two times. That's pathetic. Everybody, this is a new leaf. I'm metaphorically turning it over... now. During these past two months, while I've been busy NOT blogging, something inevitable has happened.

I fell in love with my life here.

I love the weather, the food, and the takraw. If you've never heard of takraw, look it up on youtube. It's the most fantastic sport I've ever seen. The students and Ajans (teachers) at Legacy play in the evenings when it gets a little bit cooler outside. I love the lifestyle, the farm, and the motorbikes. Oh how I love the motorbikes. I will definitely be getting one when I return to the US. I drove on the highway this past week and reached a whopping 80 km/hr. That converts to roughly 49.71 mph. Just call me Evel Knievel.

In reality though, all of these things are just fun quirks about the area. I love them, true, but they aren't life-changing. If I had never driven a motorbike, the story of my life would be... pretty much the same story as it was before. But my story is different. My life has been changed in only two months here, and not because of the food, sports, or farm work.

Legacy students live on campus. They eat on campus, sleep on campus, and do their laundry on campus. Most students do not get to visit home or their families very often and trips home for the weekend are a rarity. In an effort to serve the students here, four Ajans share the responsibilities of teacher, tutor, nurse, counselor, life coach, disciplinarian, physical therapist, playmate, sabbath school teacher, servant, maid, cook, manager, engineer, architect, carpenter, and farmer. With any of these responsibilities, the hope is always that through us, God might be able to give these students blessings they haven't known before.

Some students can't understand stability. They don't identify with a life of knowing that there will be food, a bed, family... a life when they wake up in the morning.

Some students have never known peace. When life is peaceful, they don't know how to react.

Some students have made mistakes. They know about forgiveness - their own and God's, but they don't truly understand it. They don't feel it.

Some students react to life. They are not discerning because their life has been hard. Discernment of right and wrong is luxury they don't feel that they have. They simply survive.

Stability. Peace. Grace. Righteous Living.

Essentially, we've become these student's parents. Maybe not forever, and maybe the students wouldn't agree with that statement. Maybe the students think of their Ajans as just the people who run the school. Who knows? But to me and to the teachers I work with, they are our children. When they hurt, we hurt. When they overcome, we rejoice.

I guess I don't really know what attitude the average church-going parent takes towards raising children - it's not really in my realm of experience. I do know the only attitude I have been able to take during these past months at Legacy.

Stability. Peace. Grace. Righteous Living.
I can't do that.

I can't teach another person to be stable. I'm in the learning process.

I can't give someone peace. I can't even teach them what it feels like. That is a gift from God.

I can't show someone the beauty of perfect grace and what it does when combined with true repentance. That is far beyond me.

I can't be an example of righteous living. Obviously I try, but I sin. I make mistakes every day.

So this year and in the years to come, God is doing my job. I've tried, and am trying, to get 'myself' out of the way so that God can do whatever it is He wants to do. My shortcomings, my reactions, my hot buttons have to go because there are 17 children whose lives will be affected by them. I love these kids, and they need the best influence possible - they need a perfect influence.

So, has my life changed? Oh yeah. Not because of food, sports or motorbikes.

My life changed because the students changed me.